Dear Friend

"I wrote this for you. I wrote this for you and only you. Everyone else who reads it, doesn’t get it. They may think they get it, but they don’t. This is the sign you’ve been looking for. You were meant to read these words."

August 13th, 2012

Dear Friend,

I feel like there’s something missing with ‘us.’ Is this how love is supposed to be? 

-Renee

September 8th, 2011

Dear friend,

I want to get married. As soon as possible. And I don’t care if it’s to the wrong person. I just want to have someone with me at all times. Someone that will be for me and only for me. No one else.

Love — Jane

August 17th, 2011

Dear friend,

I feel like I’m dating both of the twins. Sometimes, I even feel as if I’m dating the wrong one.

Love — Jane

August 5th, 2011

Dear friend,

I loved you first.

Love — Jane

August 4th, 2011

Dear friend,

I told him that I love him. And he told me he couldn’t say it back. I feel so stupid.

Love — Jane

July 25th, 2011

Dear friend,

I take that back.  There is only one person that has my heart.

Love — Jane

July 24th, 2011

Dear friend,

I think I’m in love with two people.

Love — Jane

July 16th, 2011

Dear friend,

I don’t think there are any words to explain how I feel right now. I wish there were. So I could get it off my mind.  But there aren’t. 

Love — Jane

July 11th, 2011

Dear friend,

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. And I know that’s not good. Thinking ahead isn’t something that I like to do. Because then I expect things. And when you expect things, you get disappointed. The thing is, I just want him to be with me. I want to wake up in the morning knowing he’ll be there. Is that so much to ask? 

Love — Jane

June 28th, 2011

Dear friend,

I have decided to stop smoking cigarettes and weed. And I have also decided to stop drinking.  I think it’s better to be clean for a while.  Ever since I started dating my boyfriend, I’ve been picking up these bad habits.  For example, when I’m stressed, I smoke. Or when I’m sad, I drink.  As a result, I get super quiet or break down. And I’m tired of doing that.  I’m tired of holding everything in.  It’s not fair to me or anyone else that I let everything out when I’m high or drunk.  Plus, it’s not very attractive.  I don’t think it’s cute when I girl smokes cigarettes.  It smells. And when I kiss my boyfriend, I feel like I’m kissing an ashtray. I want him to quit. I don’t know why I started. I just figured that if I smoked, I wouldn’t taste it when I kissed him.  And it’s true. I don’t taste it after I smoke. But I hate it when I come home and smell my nasty clothes. It’s not cute. At all. As for drinking. I just say too damn much when I’m drunk. And I think it’s better to keep that shit to myself. And when I’m ready to talk about it, I’ll write to you.  But yeah.  These are just a couple of things that I want to work on.  Cause I feel as if I don’t really know who I am anymore.  I mean, I used to be sober. But now, it’s just out of control. I need to get my life back on track.  On a lighter note… my boyfriend visited me for the first time in my hometown. It was a great feeling to see him come into my house and sit on my couch. And I got to cook for him and wash his dishes and watch a movie with him in my own family room. It felt great. And he met my friends. And we went bowling. And we laughed. And it was just a great day. I’m so happy. He makes my heart melt. I couldn’t ask for anyone better. Even if he smokes and drinks, he’s good to me. And that’s all I could really ask for from him. 

Love — Jane

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