August 2012
1 post
August 13th, 2012
Dear Friend,
I feel like there’s something missing with ‘us.’ Is this how love is supposed to be?
-Renee
September 2011
1 post
September 8th, 2011
Dear friend,
I want to get married. As soon as possible. And I don’t care if it’s to the wrong person. I just want to have someone with me at all times. Someone that will be for me and only for me. No one else.
Love — Jane
August 2011
3 posts
August 17th, 2011
Dear friend,
I feel like I’m dating both of the twins. Sometimes, I even feel as if I’m dating the wrong one.
Love — Jane
August 5th, 2011
Dear friend,
I loved you first.
Love — Jane
August 4th, 2011
Dear friend,
I told him that I love him. And he told me he couldn’t say it back. I feel so stupid.
Love — Jane
July 2011
4 posts
July 25th, 2011
Dear friend,
I take that back. There is only one person that has my heart.
Love — Jane
July 24th, 2011
Dear friend,
I think I’m in love with two people.
Love — Jane
July 16th, 2011
Dear friend,
I don’t think there are any words to explain how I feel right now. I wish there were. So I could get it off my mind. But there aren’t.
Love — Jane
July 11th, 2011
Dear friend,
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. And I know that’s not good. Thinking ahead isn’t something that I like to do. Because then I expect things. And when you expect things, you get disappointed. The thing is, I just want him to be with me. I want to wake up in the morning knowing he’ll be there. Is that so much to ask?
Love — Jane
June 2011
5 posts
June 28th, 2011
Dear friend,
I have decided to stop smoking cigarettes and weed. And I have also decided to stop drinking. I think it’s better to be clean for a while. Ever since I started dating my boyfriend, I’ve been picking up these bad habits. For example, when I’m stressed, I smoke. Or when I’m sad, I drink. As a result, I get super quiet or break down. And I’m tired of...
June 24th, 2011
Dear friend,
Around 11:55 in the evening, you say, “Let’s take a shower.” So, we get ready to shower. Here we are standing in the bathroom, waiting for the water to warm up. And you start constantly checking your phone. But you don’t press any buttons or anything like that. You just keep checking every second you get. And then when I finally start to ask what...
June 21st, 2011
Dear friend,
I’m falling apart. I’m missing you. And I know I shouldn’t. But why is it getting harder to walk away? I don’t know what I am doing anymore. I’m lost. And I can’t seem to figure out which path to take. Should I just leave everything I have now and try to fix things with you? Or should I go back to pretending that what we had never happened?...
June 18th, 2011
Dear friend,
You told me I’m the one. You actually told me that I am the one. I hope I’m really the one. Cause, I’m really falling for you. And what I feel… for you. It’s just inexplainable.
Love — Jane
June 17th, 2011
Dear friend,
It’s 2:53 in the morning, and I can’t sleep. This week has been super stressful because it is your birthday week. I’ve been working my ass off to save as much money as possible so that you can have the best presents. I hope you really do like them though. I tried to be thoughtful. I really did. But yeah. The reason I can’t sleep is because I am...
May 2011
2 posts
May 26th, 2011
Dear (boy)friend,
I know it’s partially my fault for bringing up all that wedding and marriage shit a while ago as just something to talk about or a hypothetical of sorts, but now with the dream and you egging it on, I can’t help but think that we could be good together like that, married and all. But what the fuck am I saying?! We’ve only been together for seven months....
May 19, 2011
Dear friend,
I’m in a relationship. And I pray that this will work out because I really like him. He brings out the best in me. Ugh, I don’t want this to seem like some cliche thing that I’ll say now and regret later. But fuck it! If, however, things don’t work out in the future, I know that my feelings for him were sincere. I know for a fact that what I feel when I...
April 2011
1 post
April 18, 2011
Dear friend,
A lot has been going through my mind. But yeah… anyways, I met someone not too long ago. I didn’t really know him. But I knew of him. Does that make sense? The first time we ever spent time together and had a legit talk, I was drunk and threw up on myself. But he was there, by my side, holding a plastic bag for me to throw up in. The next day, I was looking through...
February 2011
1 post
February 21st, 2011
Dear friend,
I have come to realize that my love life is just make-believe. Boys come and go. I have learned to accept that. I don’t hold onto the thought of them. I don’t open my heart and I don’t share feelings with them. They don’t become a part of my daily life. They’re just there. And when I don’t want them there anymore, they disappear. I’m...
January 2011
1 post
January 27th, 2011
Dear friend,
It’s time like these that I can’t even look at myself without being disgusted. I don’t deserve your love.
I can’t look at you either, especially when you have that look on your face. It just reinforces the hate I have for myself.
-Adaline
December 2010
1 post
December 2nd, 2010
Dear friend,
I don’t know why but I always fool myself into thinking we’re made for each other. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t fantasize about growing old together and what our kids’ names will be or shit like that, but I sometimes feel that we can last a long time as a couple.
But silly thoughts never come to reality. I forget that emotions can change easily. I...
November 2010
1 post
November 10th, 2010
Dear friend,
It is becoming more and more apparent to me that this will not last. I took on the mindset of a day-by-day thing, but now I’m starting to see this in full focus. You like me because I am something familiar yet different. Perhaps you got caught up in the swing of things and having a girl at your side brings you comfort in such a foreign place you cannot call home. However, I...
October 2010
3 posts
October 26th, 2010
Dear friend,
I feel like I just wasted my time, but I know right now I’m just overreacting. I was pretty much fulfilling a criteria of yours? Really?
And I lost so much time on history when I was spending it with you. Silly me.
Harden your heart, bitch. I obviously forgot that I wasn’t meant for things like affection.
Stupid.
-Adaline
October 21st, 2010
Dear friend,
I must warn you of something very dangerous and lethal. It’s called cuddling. Cuddling will be the death of me, you, and the rest of mankind. I never experienced what cuddling was like with a boy until college. Sad, right? But here I am, feeling a strange need to cuddle, especially with the somewhat cold weather. Damn you for introducing this to me. I feel so safe and wanted in...
October 19th, 2010
Dear friend,
So, unlike the other times, this one I’m going to take day by day and see from there. I told you I don’t want anything serious, and if you failed to notice, I never voiced the words “I like you too.” It’s funny that you find me cute and nice when really deep down inside I’m a disgusting, vile monster with no heart. I’m a crazy bitch and even...
June 2010
1 post
June 13th, 2010
Dear friend,
Have you ever had that feeling that you feel so far removed from everything? That you want to have everything and nothing to do with the people around you? That’s how I’ve been feeling for the past couple of months. I see people. I miss them, hate them, love them, envy them, (insert some word here) them. I look at pictures and think, “Why wasn’t I...
April 2010
1 post
April 12th, 2010
Dear friend,
“I know you have at least met one shell of a person in your life, the people that rely on everyone else to tell them what they like and what they want to do. It is that sort of person that always answers ‘I don’t know, what do you want to do/eat/watch?’ No one wants to be around that sort of a person, and no one wants to date one, so why would you want to be...
March 2010
1 post
March 21st, 2010
Dear friend,
I slowly started to remember some parts of my dream from last night right now. One part that stuck out to me was that in my dream, you said you loved me. I don’t remember how I responded in the dream but I remember the intense fear I got from it. It’s so scary to hear those words from someone and knowing that they mean it, but you don’t know if you feel the same.
...
February 2010
4 posts
February 27th, 2010
Dear friend,
I have no patience for anyone or anything. I’m sick and tired of it all. I don’t want to be a part of anyone or anything. I don’t want to be involved. I don’t want to wake up in the morning thinking of other people and their relationships with me. I want to think about myself. I want to tell myself that I’m important. I want to wake up in the...
February 27th, 2010
Dear friend,
Honestly, I don’t know where this is going and I’m scared of what could happen, whether it may be a good happening or bad happening. I just know that I don’t want anything serious, and I’m not sure if you’re thinking the same way too. I want to tell you and realize that you will not be my top priority. Hearing you say how “lonely” or bored...
February 17th, 2010
Dear friend,
I tried to commit suicide a month ago. I was unconscious for six hours until my sister found me on the floor. My dad drove me to the hospital. The doctors made me drink charcoal. Sometimes I wish I didn’t wake up. Sometimes, I’m glad I did. Three days after getting out of the hospital, I had my first appointment with a psychiatrist. She felt like I was going to...
February 10th, 2010
Dear friend,
I’m sick. I feel disgusting and I can’t even leave the house in fear of infecting another person. Even my dad keeps his distance from me, which is completely understandable. Being sick is causing me to miss a whole week of school. A WHOLE WEEK. If I were seven years old again this would sound like heaven on earth but I’m a senior in the middle of projects and tests...
January 2010
1 post
January 14th, 2010
Dear friend,
I’m always the in-between. I have friends that hang out with each other but don’t call me. I get it though because they’re guys and they should have their own time for their bromance stuff, that’s fine with me. However, sometimes, when the other girls are there, it makes me kind of sad because they didn’t once think of trying to call me too when I...
December 2009
4 posts
December 28th, 2009
Dear friend,
It obviously will never happen between us. Too many girls like you and once again, I’m playing the fool. You’ll never see me for me and that sorta sucks.
-Adaline
December 24th, 2009
Dear friend,
Staying strong has proven to be very exhausting. I don’t want to look weak, I don’t want you to see me like this, but every day, every minute, every second, it hurts and I can’t keep up with this charade. I can tell you don’t care as much as I do, and that’s fine.
-Adaline
December 21st, 2009
Dear friend,
Last week, I had a blackout for a second. It scared me because that used to happen on occasion when I was younger. I don’t know what came over me, I couldn’t comprehend the feeling, but it just engulfed me and I punched him in the face. He didn’t deserve it, but I acted upon forces still to be determined. Albeit, the punch wasn’t hard because I realized what I...
December 21st, 2009
Dear friend,
I’m ready to leave, get out of here. I want to take a plane heading to some unknown destination and just escape. At this moment, I feel that when I get college acceptance letter(s), I’m going to take the one that’s farthest away from here. I’ve placed so many walls around myself that I think that the only way to break them is to break them where no one else...
November 2009
2 posts
November 19th, 2009
Dear friend,
I just realized how different things are now, and it makes me both happy and sad. But know that I have no ill feelings and only wish for the best.
-Adaline
November 1st, 2009
Dear friend,
Jealous? Fuck yeah I am! Why? I have no clue! & it makes me so angry! I’m so angry at you, all the time. For leaving me to go talk to her. Or saying Hi to someone else while you’re walking me to class. All the little things! It’s so frustrating. I don’t want to be with you anymore. I really don’t. Not if it means I’m gonna be like...
October 2009
4 posts
October 15th, 2009
Dear friend,
My systems are failing. I’m slipping.
The cure? One day of rest, one of homework, another of rest, and lastly one of hanging out.
-Adaline
October 15th, 2009
Dear friend,
What fucking right do you have to come back into my life?
That was rhetorical.
-Adaline
October 13th, 2009
Dear friend,
I promise to drive more carefully. Even though there were other people in my car and I tried to make conversation with them, I couldn’t stop noticing how the rain reminded me of you. It’s funny because I was going to see you today too. It was brief, fleeting, but enough. Because that’s what our friendship has come down to and no, I’m not resentful at all after...
October 7th, 2009
Dear friend,
I gave up trying a long time ago. This is me without it and I’m happy.
-Adaline
September 2009
7 posts
September 20th, 2009
Dear friend,
I spent all day planning dinner. I made lasagna. I made caesar salad. I made garlic bread. & in the end… you didn’t show up. You flaked on me. & I can’t begin to explain how mad & hurt I am. You disappoint me. & all I can do is forgive you. When will I ever do anything right?
Love — Jane
September 19th, 2009
Dear friend,
Hearing “I love you,” from you surprises me nowadays. But then it doesn’t. Because only I know the reason why you say it. & it’s sad to admit that.
Love — Jane
September 18th, 2009
Dear friend,
I think I’m starting to have feelings for you…and you. Is that horrible of me? It’s just that, I admire how passionate you both get when you’re doing what you love, and how you both make me laugh and how I sense an air of sweet contentment from you both. It’s stupid really, because I only really get these feelings at certain events like these. It’s...
September 18th, 2009
Dear friend,
What’s the difference between a boyfriend & a best friend? I’ve been thinking about it lately. & I mean, I love my boyfriend. Very much. It’s just that… when I’m with my best friend, I’m so happy. He’s only around when my boyfriend & I aren’t doing well. But at least he’s here when I need him. Other than that,...
September 9th, 2009
Dear friend,
Today was not a good day. No matter how hard I tried… it meant nothing. I made signs for you. To apologize. But you just ignored me. I was standing in the cold, holding up a sign that said, “Please forgive me,” while everyone driving by stared at me. I was crying. Practically hoping you’ll look up at me. & understand how hurt I was. N & M had...
September 7th, 2009
Dear friend,
I’m fucking fed up with everything about you. You fucking disappoint me more & more everyday. I’m still wondering why I’m in this relationship with you. I’m starting to fucking hate you. But then you kiss or hug me. & then everything seems perfect again. I don’t understand myself. I’ve had enough. I can’t do this anymore. You...
September 6th, 2009
Dear friend,
No matter how much I can blame you, you can blame me, I accept your apologies, wonder why, or ignore it, this is going nowhere and I’m getting tired. Really, really tired. You can have this your way, I’m beginning to not care anymore.
-Adaline
August 31st, 2009
Dear friend,
My heart dropped reading what you wrote. I was on the verge of calling someone (like an adult) to get their help for you. But I’m glad I took the other option of calling you first. You said you were alright, fine. You sounded fine too. But I still have this minor heavy-heart feeling. I’m still slightly worried! But like I said, the worrying is worth it as long as you are...
